Friday, May 11, 2012

So, I guess I have to keep this up if Lisa is . . .

Promise Yourself
1)  To be so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind.
2)  To talk health, happiness, and prosperity to every person you meet.

So yesterday, I had a hard time thinking about being strong.  But I know I can do that - it just takes work.  And I think I did a pretty good job of being strong yesterday.  A lot of things came along that tried to throw me for a loop - but I didn't let it knock me down.

And then - Lisa and I got into an intense conversation about "loving yourself".  I have always had an issue with this.  I was raised with the thought of "doing things for yourself is selfish."  It is hard to draw the line between selfishness and loving yourself.  Lisa told me that I needed to say "it is easy for me to focus on me".  I couldn't even TYPE it, let alone say it out loud.  Now, I know that I do selfish things.  They are usually motivated by depression.  Like - I'd rather stay home and sleep than go out and hang out with friends.  Hiding is easier.  Or I will selfishly watch Anne of Green Gables even when the kids want to watch something else - because I CANNOT STAND WATCHING SPONGE BOB ANYMORE!!!

But most of my issues come from trying to take care of everyone else but myself.  Or worrying about doing something that might upset someone else.  I think I'm afraid of something - but I can't quiet figure out what it is.

However - in the midst of a lot of crazy circumstances right now - I really do feel stronger than I have in a long time AND I have some peace a midst the chaos.

So on to #2.  Okay - does this mean I have to get rid of my snarky sarcastic attitude?  I need to talk health, happiness, and prosperity to every person I meet.  Lisa also mentioned how overly cheerful people often tend to tick her off rather than make her happy - I've never been a fan of pushy "Pollyanna on crack" type people either.  But I think my earlier discussion will help me with this one.  I need to look in the mirror.  I need to talk health, happiness, and prosperity to that woman in the mirror who I don't like a whole lot right now.  I need to make her realize that she IS strong and that she CAN be healthy, and happy, and prosperous.  And I need to stop talking about her like she isn't the one typing this!!

That's my goal for today.  So if you happen to see me - and it looks like I'm talking to myself . . . just move on - I have some positive self-talk to get done!!!

Have a great Friday!

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